Unlucky in Love Read online

  It reminded her of home, and it didn’t. She’d missed the ocean—that unique salty, misty smell she found almost impossible to describe—but this tiny lake had its own breezy scent, and she was surprised to discover that she liked it.

  She missed the tides, the power of the waves, the never-ending rhythm of a shoreline that appeared and disappeared on a daily basis. But the peaceful lake had its own rhythms, she was sure. She imagined certain birds appearing at dawn, others sailing through the air in the heat of day, and still others paddling through the cold water at dusk.

  She heard a pair of loons call, and though the haunting sound startled her, it was beautiful, too. They reminded her of a vacation long, long ago when Mom and Dad had rented a tiny cabin on a lake in northern Maine, and they’d spent the entire week playing Monopoly on the porch, then swimming in the rain.

  Simpler times, certainly.

  When they reached a portion of the lake that bordered a marshy area, Gunnar put out one hand to stop Lexi’s kayak, and put a finger to his lips with the other, then pointed toward the edge of the woods, a hundred feet away. Lexi squinted to see what he was showing her, but all she could see were branches.

  And then something moved.

  A really big something.

  She felt her eyes widen as she whispered, “Is that what I think it is?”

  Gunnar nodded. “I was hoping we’d see one. They often come down at dusk.”

  They watched silently for long moments as the gigantic moose stepped daintily into the water and put its head down to drink. Despite the fact that she’d grown up in Maine, Lexi had never seen one, and she was amused by the juxtaposition of its huge head and spindly legs.

  Then the moose lifted his head and seemed to look straight at them. His ears twitched, but he didn’t otherwise move for a full thirty seconds. Then, apparently determining they weren’t a threat, he turned around and ambled back up the hill into the dense forest, and Lexi felt her breathing return to normal.

  “Okay, that was way better than paragliding,” she said.

  He winked. “Thought you’d like that. Quick question, though, since you apparently wander away from the ranch at odd intervals—do you know what to do if you run into a moose in the woods?”

  “You say, Hello, mister moose. May I please pass?”

  He rolled his eyes, picking up his paddle. “Please remind me never to send you out alone. Anywhere.”

  She stroked to stay with him. “Are you not supposed to be polite? Is it more of a Put up your dukes, moose-dawg—I’m a-comin’ for ya thing?”

  “Yes, sweetheart. That’s exactly what you do.” He turned to her, grinning. “Never. Go out. Alone. Understood?”

  As he paddled forward, leading her back to the landing, she struggled to keep her eyes on the shoreline, the water, the majesty surrounding her on all sides. But no matter how hard she tried, ungluing them from the rippling muscles across Gunnar’s back was a task for a much stronger woman.

  And she was dead afraid that her weakness was about to cause her a very big problem.

  Chapter 16

  “You ready?” Four days later, Gunnar looked over at the corral fence, where Lexi leaned carefully, striving to look big and bad and not afraid of horses. He’d had to leave on a trip the morning after their kayaking expedition, and the entire time he’d been driving horses south, and new ones back to Whisper Creek, one particular redhead had been on his mind.

  She nodded. “Ready.”

  “Come on in, then.” He walked to the gate to let her through, then pointed to Bella, a little mare he’d decided was a perfect match for Lexi. He’d been right to put her on Goldie for her first couple of times out. Though she had a bratty streak, she was a solid, bulletproof horse once she had a rider onboard. Rocket, on the other hand, had been the perfect horse to help build her confidence.

  But Bella was the horse who could make Lexi fall hopelessly in love with riding. He’d found her at a rescue ranch in Colorado, mangy and underfed, but when she’d nudged his elbow, and he’d looked into her huge brown eyes, he’d known she was coming home to Whisper Creek, despite the fact that he’d come for a completely different horse.

  That had been two years ago, and once they’d nursed her back to health, he’d found a well-trained, crazy-sweet horse underneath. If Lexi was going to successfully bond with any horse in the time she had left here, it would be this one.

  “This is Bella.” Gunnar reached under the horse’s neck to give her a squeeze. “Bella, this is Lexi. You’re going to be her new best friend.”

  “But no pressure?” Lexi laughed as she reached out a tentative hand. Bella immediately bumped it and nickered, making Lexi giggle like a little girl. “She’s so cute!”

  He patted Bella, mock-whispering in her ear. “She didn’t mean it. Cute’s for ponies. You’re a big, majestic princess horse. She doesn’t know any better.”

  Lexi rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Bella. I didn’t realize horses could be insulted.”

  “You have a lot to learn, grasshopper.” Gunnar smiled. “Now let’s get you on this horse.”

  Lexi took a deep breath, and he could see her gathering her courage as she took the reins from him. She walked Bella once around the ring, and as Bella stayed right on her right arm, prancing along like she was indeed a princess, Gunnar saw Lexi’s shoulders lower bit by bit. By the time they got back to where they’d started, there was even a glimmer of a smile on her face.

  “Okay.” Lexi nodded firmly. “I’m ready.”

  “Great. Up you go, then.” He leaned forward to cup his hands, lifting her up.

  He watched as she tentatively tapped Bella’s sides, then tapped a little harder when Bella didn’t move. Finally, she made a clucking sound and patted Bella’s neck, and the horse started walking with a nice, easy gait, and Gunnar couldn’t help but smile as he saw a grin take over Lexi’s face.

  “She’s walking!” she whispered as she went by. “You didn’t even have to help!”

  He nodded, a warm feeling stealing through his gut. He’d woken up this morning determined to get Lexi on a horse before her resolve faded, and here she was, not only on the horse, but actually looking happy about it, instead of scared.

  An hour later, he took the reins from her. “Hey, Lex? Do your cheeks hurt?”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because you haven’t stopped smiling since you got on this horse.”

  Her smile grew even wider. “I haven’t?”

  “No, you haven’t. If I didn’t know better, I’d hazard a guess right now that you actually liked riding today.”

  “I totally did!” She dismounted and hugged Bella’s neck. “I am completely in love with Princess Bella here.”

  Gunnar smiled. “Thought you two would be a good match.” He handed Lexi a carrot for Bella.

  “Here you go, girl. Thank you for not dumping me on my nose.” She palmed the carrot to Bella, then started brushing her like she’d been doing it her entire life, which made Gunnar realize just how carefully she’d been watching him with the other horses.

  “Careful, Lex. Might turn into a cowgirl if you’re not careful.”

  “No worries. I’m only drinking bottled water.” She nodded, moving her attention to the saddle straps.

  “What does water have to do with—”

  “Oh, nothing. It’s silly.” She waved a hand in dismissal. “Jess and Kyla warned me not to drink the water, because it’s apparently been shown to have some sort of magical powers that make women want to give up everything they know to move out here and become Big Sky girls.”

  He paused, watching her for a long moment as she used strong strokes to brush Bella down.

  “You concerned about that? Because I was about to ask if I could cook you dinner tonight.”

  He heard the question come out of his mouth and he cringed, wishing it hadn’t. He knew she had a job she had to go back to—knew she was just a summer employee. Why was he torturing himself by even asking?
r />   She was silent on the other side of the horse, and he could tell her brushing motions had ceased. After a long moment, though, the brush moved, and she shook her head slowly.

  “Bottled water, Gunnar. Bottled water.”

  —

  “Jess?” Later that afternoon, Lexi poked her head through the open door at the top of the steps that ran up the side wall of the spa. “Are you home?”

  “Come on in!” Jess’s voice floated from somewhere to her left.

  Lexi stepped through the door and was immediately bathed in warm afternoon sunlight from a bank of windows facing the mountains. She’d spent her fair share of time trying to master yoga poses downstairs over the past few weeks, but had never climbed the steps to Jess and Cole’s apartment above. Now that she saw its clean lines and open space and—good God!—the view, she’d have a hard time calling it an apartment at all.

  Jess came around a corner carrying a basket of laundry. “Hey, Lexi. Happy Saturday!” She put a gentle arm around Lexi’s shoulders and steered her toward the living area, where two comfy couches were situated so they looked out the windows. “Come keep me company while Layla sleeps.”

  “You sure? This is probably your only quiet hour of the entire day.”

  Jess smiled as she sat down and immediately started pulling tiny clothes out of the basket, folding them into neat piles. Was it sleep-deprived early motherhood that brought out the efficiency gene in women, Lexi wondered?

  “I’m sure. So what’s up with you? Any plans today?”

  “Well, as a matter of fact—”

  Lexi sat down on the other couch, still not sure she’d made the right move by coming up Jess’s stairs. But she was dying for information, and Jess was the one person on this ranch who might have it, but who might also not tell everybody else that Lexi was asking. “I might have plans later.”

  “With Gunnar?”

  “Yes.”

  Jess smiled. “So, is it might because he hasn’t asked yet? Or because he has, but you haven’t answered?”

  “He asked. And I answered.”

  “But you might still back out.” Jess nodded sagely as she folded. “Got it.”

  “Just for the record, I didn’t come out here looking for—you know—a man. Or anything. I wasn’t—that wasn’t the plan. At all.”

  “So you’ve mentioned at least once before.” Jess laughed. “But fate’s having different ideas? Have you been drinking the water, against our very wise advice?”

  “I’m starting to feel like maybe drinking it isn’t the problem. Maybe it’s the claw-foot tubs full of it, or maybe it’s not the water at all. Maybe it’s this fresh air, or the blue skies, or the horses—which, by the way, I wasn’t even planning to like.”

  “Or”—Jess smiled—“just taking a wild stab here, maybe it’s the men?”

  Oh, it was the men, all right.

  Just last night, Lexi had bolted out of bed after a hot, hot dream that featured Gunnar, a waterfall, and not very many clothes, and as she’d sat by her window drinking a midnight cup of tea, she’d realized something, and she wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.

  For her first two weeks in Montana, she hadn’t been able to get Tristan out of her head, so focused on creating some sort of fake story to tell him about this brand-new person she was becoming that she was blind to losing herself in the process. Everything she’d done, everything she’d worn, every activity she’d undertaken, she’d done as part of a plan to get him back.

  But last night, sitting beside an open window with a breeze playing through her hair and the soft lights of the stables sending a muted glow over the property, she’d realized that in the past week, she’d barely given him a passing thought. This man she’d planned to spend her life with was quickly fading into her past, and that was all because of another man who’d become very much a part of her present.

  The problem was, there was no way for him to be part of her future, as far as she could figure, and she hated how depressed that made her.

  “Who does the hiring here, by the way? I think I’d like to have a word.” Lexi sat back, sighing. “Also, I’d love to talk with the Web designer, because the Whisper Creek website makes this place look too perfect to be real.”

  “Oh.” Jess’s smile faded. “Do you think it oversells us?”

  “God, no. It undersells you by a mile. But it’s because no one could possibly believe this scenery, this place—these cowboys—could really exist.”

  Jess laughed. “I’m so sorry. What were you expecting?”

  “That Gunnar, Cole, and Decker were all professional models playing dress-up cowboy, along with the rest of your calendar cowboys. But they’re all real. It’s ridiculous. And I thought maybe those views were somewhere in Montana, sure. But every one of them is right here on the ranch. Half of them are right outside your windows here. It’s like a little piece of Heaven-on-earth, exactly as you advertise it.”

  “Well—I can see how this is a problem. I’ll talk to Kyla and see if we can work on it.”

  Lexi smiled. “Thank you.”

  “So what’s happening with Gunnar? Is the poor man making you think twice about getting back together with your ex?”

  “Honestly? Yes.” Lexi shook her head, more confused than she’d been since she’d arrived. Every minute she spent with Gunnar made her feel more like she’d made a colossal mistake by wasting the summer pining for Tristan. But for every minute she spent resisting taking things further with Gunnar—taking them anywhere, let’s be honest—she spent two minutes wondering why things with Tristan had never felt quite so…easy as they did with Gunnar.

  And then she’d analyze herself into complete circles, convinced that the only reason she was so at ease with Gunnar was because really, she could never have him. At best, he’d be a sweet summer fling. At worst, she’d continue this avoidance dance for three more weeks, then go home wondering if she’d been a moron to not just dive in and see what might happen.

  She thought back to her plane ride out here, to Scarlett saying what an ego boost a fling could be, and she frowned. Maybe. Maybe it could be. But she was dead afraid that it’d turn into the opposite, instead.

  Because what if they did actually date? What if they really kissed? Spent the night together? What if she said things she couldn’t take back? What if she started picturing ways to keep a long-distance relationship from fizzling out?

  And then, what if he drove her to the airport three weeks from now and said, “Great time, Lex. Have a nice life!”

  That didn’t sound like much of an ego boost to her. And those happy memories would turn into the kind that would stab her in her sleep like tiny little barbed needles.

  Jess shifted a pile of tiny shirts over and picked up a teeny pair of pink pants. “Are you here to grill me about him? Find out his deep, dark secrets? Ask me if you should pin your heart to a restless cowboy?” Jess winked. “Because if you are, I’ll brew some tea and get you your own basket of laundry to fold.”

  Lexi laughed. “None of the above.”

  “Ha.” Jess stood up, pinching Lexi’s cheek gently on her way by. She headed for the kitchen area. “You redheads are all alike. Hayley does the same thing—tries to pretend one thing while her face says the opposite.”

  Lexi put her hands to her cheeks. Damn Irish genes.

  Jess filled a kettle and measured tea from an antique glass jar on the counter, humming while she did so. While the water boiled, she disappeared down a hallway, reemerging with a laundry basket that she set at Lexi’s feet.

  “You weren’t kidding.” Lexi laughed. This basket, too, was full of little Layla’s clothes. “Jeez. Kids go through a lot of laundry, don’t they?”

  “You can’t possibly know just how much until you’re the one doing it. But I love every little outfit.” Jess came back with two steaming mugs. “I don’t know how I’ll possibly ever get rid of any of them after she grows.”

  “Well, maybe you’ll just have to have anothe
r baby, so you can use them again.”

  Jess smiled, but looked away, and Lexi feared she’d hit a nerve. “That would be…great.” Then she motioned to Lexi’s laundry basket with a get folding motion.

  Lexi obliged, picking up a tiny sleeper and folding it carefully. It was so soft, so little, and she couldn’t help but lift it to her nose to smell its warm, clean scent.

  “Do you hope to have children someday, Lexi?” Jess smiled as Lexi put the sleeper back down and picked up tiny pants.

  “Definitely.”

  “How many?”

  “Two, I think. Boy and girl, but that feels so cliché.” Lexi shrugged. “I’ve always thought it would be cool to have twins, or even triplets.”

  “That’s because you’ve never had them.” Jess laughed. “Can you imagine how little sleep you’d get?”

  “I don’t think I’d mind.” Lexi folded, suddenly thoughtful, picturing herself folding her own baby’s clothes like this. Baby—or babies. “I think I would just be so grateful, you know? I mean, let’s be honest. I’ve got the ticking ovaries just like any twenty-eight-year-old. They’re not going to hold out forever.”

  “Yeah.” Jess looked sad for a second, but then covered it with a smile. “Did you and Tristan ever talk about kids?”

  “Oh, sure.” Lexi nodded, because of course they had.

  Hadn’t they?

  She paused. Had they? In any real sense of the word? Or had he skated around that discussion just like he’d tried to skate around their engagement? And, in the end, their wedding?

  Lexi tipped her head, the slow cavalcade of realizations making her see Tristan in a new light. It wasn’t a good one, really. Sort of yellowish and cowardly, to be honest. When she thought back to the number of times she’d tried to get him to talk about his ideal family size, she realized that every single time, he’d avoided discussing it by kissing her, or pretending he hadn’t heard, or suddenly hearing his phone ring.